Author website of Andrew Marshall
Christmas, if we look for it, cannot be found. Years ago, I kept looking for Christmas. Then I realised it is intangible and has no form. This is the beauty of Zen: when we look for something, it isn’t there. Everything is wonderfully empty.
The Zen Diarist’s pen is taking a break until the new year. Enjoy yours!
“It’s a mad world!” goes the song. Actually, the world isn’t crazy. We are. The human race, that is. All the problems in the world have been created by people or, rather, human minds. And all our creations – good, bad or indifferent – start in the mind. For the mind to be clear, it must be calm.
Especially at this time of year, it is easy for the mind to go into overdrive and, if we are not careful, we can end up exhausted. We might (frequently, perhaps!) experience the stop-the-world-I-want-to-get-off type of feeling. That is a strong signal that the mind needs to pause.
There are three simple steps that can help restore equilibrium:
The breath is like a bridge between the body and the mind. If the mind is agitated, the breathing tends to be shallower and faster and the body is in a state of increased tension. Conversely, we know from experience that when the mind is calm, the breath tends to be slower and smoother. If we can train ourselves to be aware of this rhythm, we begin to have greater awareness of our body and our emotional and mental reactions. It is a common technique to be aware of the breath during meditation but the development of mindfulness extends this practice into activity, which of course is more difficult because we have to engage the mind in actions as well as the breath. The rewards, however, are truly life-changing.
Awareness of breath acts like an anchor. An anchored boat stays where it is even if the wind is strong and the waves and currents of the sea are running wild. Without the anchor, the boat is tossed around and is prey to the whims of the sea. Our minds are very much like that. Without some form of stability, the mind is drawn into endless distractions and is subject to the surges of our emotions, which can often sow the seeds for unpleasant effects later on. They also waste precious energy. Being aware of the gentle movement of the abdomen as we breathe is easy and has the effect of slowing the mind down and of centring the body’s energy at the same time.
Adapted from The Art of Not Doing
“Guilt is a wasted emotion,” it has often been said, yet most of us have seeds of guilt lurking somewhere in our psyche. Guilt can seriously harm our self-esteem and confidence. Our work and relationships can suffer because we hold back our energy and our presence. This source of self-flagellation needs rooting out and the process is called self-forgiveness.
To forgive ourselves doesn’t mean not to have a conscience; ethical speech and conduct (and, indeed, thinking) are vital aspects of the path of self-development. The survival of the human race depends on moral behaviour. Self-forgiveness means letting go of harmful feelings of guilt that prevent us from being happy and realising our full potential.
Moreover, if we cannot let go of guilt within ourselves, we cannot truly and completely forgive others. If we resent something within our own make-up, there are going to be things we will resent in others. So it is not self-indulgent to forgive ourselves – quite the opposite. To put it another way, are cultivating a sense of self-acceptance.
Our starting point is to build up our self esteem. We don’t need to analyse where we think we are failing because that’s focusing on the negative. We simply start by building up a positive picture.
Here is a powerful exercise for building up self-esteem. Don’t underestimate it – it works. Find a place to sit quietly on your own and allow yourself a comfortable five minutes or a little longer if you wish:
This technique could be done once a day for a week and then whenever there is a feeling of self-doubt. By embracing our whole self and our past and future actions, we forgive everything about ourselves. In other words we accept who we are. In energy terms, this can have a very profound effect.
Sometimes, though, there can be something that really bothers us. If we have harmed somebody, spoken out of turn, acted unjustly, omitted to do something or whatever it happens to be, we should use any opportunity we can to apologise or to put things right. If that is not possible or if no-one else is involved, we can use the following method:
This method is very simple but its effect can be very deep indeed. Sometimes it may need to be done more than once. It all depends to what extent the sense of guilt has been ingrained but it is better to do it once and see how our feelings are affected over a period of time than to keep repeating it. Many of these techniques are like taking a medicine – it is important to allow time for healing to take place before taking another dose.
More on this in The Great Little Book of Happiness. This article is an adaptation of an extract from Chapter 2.
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