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Archives for October 2015

It really is a matter of choice

October 31, 2015 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

ChoiceIf you wish to be happier than you are now, you must have the will to do something about it. The choice really is yours. It just has to be the right choice.

The problem with seeking happiness for ourselves alone is that it is likely to give rise to a certain degree of selfishness. Then our thoughts become focused on ourselves. We try to create a bubble around us that keeps unhappiness factors away and, perhaps unwittingly, we become very insular. This may work for a short time but eventually a deep sense of dissatisfaction will start nagging at us from inside.

If we want to be truly happy and content, we have to be less concerned with “me”. In fact, the more we are concerned with others’ welfare and their happiness, the happier we will become. In other words, we do the opposite of what the ego is pushing us to do or avoid doing. It’s a universal law and it works. When we take the focus away from ourselves, we take the focus off the things in life which we blame for … well, blame for anything, really.

If you have any doubts as to whether it is right or responsible to be happier, let’s start with the thought that a happier human being is a better human being. Remember that moods are infectious and happy people tend to uplift others. Some people have the gift of being able to see the energy fields around people and they will tell you that a generous, outward looking person has vibrant, outgoing energy. But you don’t have to see that to know it. You can sense it. You know what it is like to be in the company of a warm-hearted person.

Vibrate happiness!

A friend sent us a quote from the late great Maharishi Mahesh Yogi: “I see only one ‘do’ in life and that is: vibrate happiness. Increase the happiness within yourself and within your surroundings because the sole purpose of creation is the increase of happiness…”

Whether it is a throwback from more austere times that has conditioned them I don’t know but many people seem to have a distinct reservation about being happy. It is almost as though they think that happiness is wrong and that they are not meeting their responsibility as human beings unless they feel and look glum. Many children, unfortunately, are brought up in families which are not happy and innocent joyfulness is very quickly lost.

We have a responsibility to ourselves and others to be happy. Inside, we have a “happiness switch”. We just have to find it and choose to use it. Sometimes it is simply a question of choosing to throw that switch, even when everything around us seems to be falling apart. There is work to do, of course, but for now we just have to decide which direction we want to go in – towards happiness or away from it.

Adapted from The Great Little Book of Happiness

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Related posts:

  1. Blamelessness – part of letting go
  2. Why is happiness such a problem?
  3. How’s your Monster Mash?
  4. Guilt – why it robs us of self-esteem

Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: altruism, blame, choice, ego, egolessness, happiness, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, vibrate happiness

How’s your Monster Mash?

October 24, 2015 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

Our biggest and best creation of all is a true monster. Our most successful masterpiece is a mash-up of characteristics that is at the root of all our problems. We may think it is our friend but our ego is a disaster area and is bad, very bad, for our inner well-being.Monster ego

The ego is not necessarily, or even usually, a matter of big-headedness but is the result of a strengthened sense of “I” which in turn leads to a strong sense of “me” and “mine”. So “I” have “my” property; “I” have “my” standards and reputation; “I” have “my” wants, feelings and emotions. That means “I” have things that can be lost, stolen, damaged or destroyed.

Because the “I” is based on an incorrect view, it is vulnerable. So “I” create a world around “me”, an imaginary world with imaginary boundaries and, like a child playing games, “I” am convinced it is all real. Until I doubt the reality of this world of mine, I go through life pursuing those things that will maintain and even strengthen my imaginary world. Things that threaten my world cause me fear or even anger; when things are lost, I bear disappointment and pain.

But the ego cannot let up and cannot admit failure. It continually builds up new pictures, new desires that, when fulfilled, seem to make everything all right – for a while. Round and round we all go. And it does go on – on and on – until something within us begins to dawn: Uncle Ego isn’t such a good guy. The games he has us playing aren’t making us happy after all.

If we look at the hardship and suffering in the world, with a little reflection we can see that most of it stems from the actions, words and omissions of egos. With crazed minds, people blow each other up because “my” way of life, or “my” religion is the right way and everyone else is wrong. Crime in society is motivated by what “I” want. Economies are out of balance, often resulting in poverty and subject to the whims of the stock markets. Even tensions in families and workplaces arise because of conflicting wants and expectations of many “I’s”. In short, it is the ego that gives rise to all our negative ways of thinking and negative emotions such as pride, anger, hatred, jealousy and greed. It really does have to go.

Adapted from The Great Little Book of Happiness

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  1. It really is a matter of choice
  2. Forgiveness is doing yourself a favour
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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: ego, hardship, poverty, selfishness, selflessness, suffering, unhappiness

Who are you, really?

October 16, 2015 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

“Just who do you think you are?” That was a question my parents would often ask me when I was a boy – not from any philosophical standpoint – just as a remonstration for something said or done that in their view amounted to mischief or cheek! Little did I know then that I would spend my adult life exploring that question. So let me ask you, very politely, “Who do you think you are? Who are you?”

The normal response to that type of question would be something along the lines of, “I’m Jim (or Alice or whatever our name happens to be,” wouldn’t it? That might be followed with a description of our occupation, where we live or any of our personal details. The fact is, though, that answer is false. Conventionally we have to say it and will always say it because we have to communicate in a world that is full of conventions; but it isn’t right when we look at things in a deeper way than normal.

Does it matter?

You might say to me, “Does it really matter when all we’re looking at is happiness?” Well, yes it does matter because the most basic and fundamental threat to our own happiness is not who or what others think we are; it’s who we think we are. We all see ourselves as separate human beings – individual, self-contained units – and as long as we see ourselves in this way, there will be things in this world to protect ourselves from. We will see danger “out there” to our peace and happiness. So what do we do? We build barriers, barriers of protection in our minds (and often physical barriers, too). The trouble is that these barriers affect our thinking, our feelings and our behaviour. They stop us engaging fully with our world and with ourselves.

For our own sanity and well-being, we have to overcome this mental picture that creates a false sense of identity or reality. Keep reading these posts because we’ll be looking at how to do this.

Adapted from The Great Little Book of Happiness

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  1. When tragedy strikes
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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: identity, inner peace, knowledge, self-discovery, who am I

When tragedy strikes

October 9, 2015 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

The world is a marvellous teacher for producing things that shake us out of our stupor when we are taking things for granted and feeling comfortable with everything. Society is stirred up time and time again by catastrophic events, either natural or manmade, and the degree of shock is dependent to a great degree on the extent to which our own world appears to have been violated or threatened.

Day in, day out there are news reports of people in various parts of the world blowing other people up and committing all manner of atrocities. These tragedies are often only mentioned in passing – until one of them is close to home, in the country where we live, for instance.

Isn’t it much the same in our individual lives? People are suffering everywhere but if news comes to us that a close friend or relative has been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, it can affect us deeply. And, if we are honest, our emotions are unsettled not only because of any compassion we may feel but also because the normality of our little world has changed. The one who has always been there may not be around for much longer; and the closer they are to us, the stronger the emotional reaction is likely to be.

There are millions of examples you and I could no doubt think of where we would say that change, vulnerability and impermanence threaten human happiness. But in fact we would be wrong. The reason we would be wrong is that the threat to our happiness doesn’t lie in the things that are going to change. The cause is the way we see those them, or rather our failure to see things as they really are.

The key to happiness is largely a matter of perception and we have to correct our traditional view of reality. Our natural desire for happiness can only be met by achieving a stable state of consciousness and we do that by re-training the mind. Sometimes it takes a major crisis to spur us into doing something about that – but maybe it is better not to wait for a big event and just get on with it now.

More on this in The Great Little Book of Happiness

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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: dealing with shock, disaster, happiness, impermanence, inner peace, shock, stress, tragedy

Change – good or bad?

October 2, 2015 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

Absolutely everything is in a perpetual state of changemTr5c7i

One of the basic causes of human unhappiness is our failure to see that. We depend so much on what we see in the outside world for our stability and well-being. Human nature makes us put up great resistance when change is threatened. Alternatively, we may look forward to things being different but our sense of pleasure doesn’t tend to last very long when they happen. The delight, or dread, is all in the anticipation, it seems.

How’s your everlasting youthfulness doing?

That comes very close to home when we think about our own body. As a child or a teenager, we may have wanted to look older and more grown up; but that looking forward didn’t last for very long once we reached adulthood, did it? Most of us don’t relish the idea of aging at all and we try to hang onto a youthful appearance, suppleness, fitness and so on for as long as we possibly can. I failed on that one some time ago! But seriously, there is in all of us, or nearly all of us, a dread of becoming old and frail, perhaps incontinent, losing teeth, suffering from failing hearing and eyesight and a weakening of mental faculties.

Our failure to accept

The reason for this dread is that we have failed to accept fully – and I mean really fully – the inevitability of change. We know that no matter how hard we try, this body of ours cannot be preserved indefinitely; but there is still a sneaking desire to prolong it as long as possible. Then instead of treating the body as an instrument that is ours to use for a limited length of time, we become dearly attached to it (or maybe abhor how it is now, which is equally as bad) and so our body becomes a source of unhappiness as it deteriorates. Not only does it become a source of unhappiness, it also becomes a source of fear because it is not only aging that results in death. Death can come at any time and some of the possible methods of its approach – cancer, terrorism, fire, drowning and so on – can lead to irrational fears which affect our thinking and our behaviour. Or we can avoid the thought of the reality of death altogether. That’s the more popular approach, of course.

If we can truly embrace our own impermanence, we can more easily accept the vulnerability of everybody and everything in our world to the forces of change.  We should look closely at ourselves to see whether we try to hang onto the “good” things – the ones that we see as essential to our happiness – and feel down when they start to slip away from us. In fact, as we shall see later, there is neither good nor bad but while we continue to label things that way, the seeds of unhappiness are lurking in our minds.

Adapted from The Great Little Book of Happiness

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  2. Opening the heart, no surgery
  3. Barriers to our natural joy
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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: ageing, aging, change, death, happiness, impermanence, mind

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