Blamelessness is freedom
Blamelessness is a state of a mind that is free; and in an unshackled mind, there is no room for grudge or blame.
To be free, we must understand very clearly that holding onto a grudge or resentment in no way harms the person we blame for some wrongdoing. We may think we are fully justified and in some slightly warped and unseen way believe that we are meting out justice. But in reality, we’re not. Okay, it may make things difficult or a little unpleasant but that is all. On the other hand, it can cause us great damage in terms of happiness and well-being. It most definitely reduces our capacity to love others and to be a useful member of society.
Is there any reason why should we not let go? The short answer is “no”. There might be a million and one reasons why a finger can be pointed at someone who has done dreadful things, but blamelessness is not the same as condoning wrong actions. We are not in the business of saying a terrible deed or omission is acceptable.
The essence of blamelessness is to release ourselves and free our own energy by seeing the truth that underlies the appearance. We need to see the deeper picture. Our resentment arises from false perception – we build up a picture of presumptions and judgments. We need to change our perception, and if we do the resentment dissolves.
A simple technique for letting go of blame
There are many ways of changing our perception – for example by analysing all the causes and conditions that gave rise to the action we resent, by taking into account the incredibly complex law of karma or cause and effect. But we don’t normally have the time to do this, or the inclination. Although for very deep issues some sort of analysis may be helpful, there is a simpler method that is both very practical and easy to use. It is this:
- See the other person as a child.
It really is that simple. If we see the other person as a child (and ourselves, for that matter), we will see that it is possible, inevitable even, for that person to make mistakes and even do serious wrongs. But a child is not judged or condemned for ever and eventually grows up and out of his or her bad habits. Each one of us is a child in spiritual terms. We are all thoroughly immature. So we need to understand when seeing the other person as a child that we are a child also and from time to time we, too, make mistakes. At first sight, this technique may seem naïve – but it is incredibly effective and, in terms of releasing our energy, can be extremely profound.
More on this in The Great Little Book of Happiness. This article is an adaptation of an extract from Chapter 2.
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Celia Bozkurt says
A very useful article, it is indeed very liberating to be free from judgement, not always easy to perform but certainly makes one feel lighter when practiced. I like your analogy of the child, Cute horses : )