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Rest or be busy? 5 essential tips for restoring balance

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Rest or be busyRest almost seems a bit of a luxury at times, even though we know deep down that it is the natural partner to activity. In spite of that, we are not very good at it. Somehow, perhaps stemming from the work ethic, it is common to attach a certain amount of guilt to resting. “I can’t just sit here doing nothing,” is so common, isn’t it? Oddly, we probably encourage others to rest but for us, well – we’re far too busy.

There is a choice – rest and live fully, or age faster

A really strong draw to getting the balance right is the thought that we are probably ageing faster than we need to. Life is often said to be a journey. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather enjoy the trip than end up at the terminus having missed the scenery. Unless we take time to do that, the body will tire needlessly and wear out more quickly. Of course we must meet our responsibilities, but we have a responsibility to ourselves, too. It is only the ego that thinks it is indispensable, after all.

Five essential things

  1. Stop. If you tell someone that you are really busy, you probably aren’t. More likely, your mind is very cluttered and disorganised. Asserting we are busy is a classic method of avoidance – avoidance of being who we really are. Try stopping for a few moments and see if the world falls apart. It won’t.
  2. Breathe more deeply and more slowly. When the mind is erratic, so is our breathing. If we slow our breathing down, the mind tends to follow. The emotions settle and so does our energy. Even if we are still moving around, we can begin to learn the power of rest.
  3. Do you make lists? Lists can be helpful and many people swear by them because writing things down often helps to clear the mind. Here’s a suggestion, though. If you have a list of seven or more items, make a second list which has just one item. It might sound daft but working through a list often means racing through it without enjoying any of the things we planned to do. So take one item only from the first list and turn your first list over. Work on that one task only and then stop and breathe. Activity and rest, that’s the plan.
  4. Walk and move slowly, taking time to feel the Earth beneath your feet and the space around you. There’s plenty of advice about taking vigorous and high-intensity exercise but precious little about the benefits of moving slowly. Don’t do it all the time, of course, otherwise you will miss your train or get fired from your job. However, a few moments of slow movement can do wonders. It’s another form of rest for the mind whilst working the muscles more deeply. (If you’re really interested in this, learn some tai chi.)
  5. Meditate for a few minutes every day. Meditation can give us a very deep experience of rest and just ten minutes can refresh mind and body, leaving us clearer and more relaxed. If you don’t know how, follow this link for an easy method. (It’s free.)

Rest in the woods

For much more on the importance of stopping and how to achieve a clear mind, take a look at my book The Art of Not Doing, available in print and as an ebook.

Related posts:

  1. Habits – when and how to manage them
  2. Seasons and ageing: the life-enhancing secret of Nature
  3. Mortality: why our own impermanence is such a wonderful gift
  4. Losing those we love, and the search for constancy

Be rooted again: how a simple trick enhances life and wellbeing

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Be rooted treeBe rooted and you can become almost unshakeable. This is a common principle in martial arts, especially taiji (tai chi), where we can become so firmly grounded through the legs and feet that another person finds it impossible to push or pull us over. It gives an illusion of enormous strength but there is little muscular force in it, in fact quite the opposite. To be rooted, we have to learn to become centred and to relax. Although this technique, if we call it that, we express through the body, it is a mental approach that we can apply throughout life.

Be rooted: find your centre

When we are anxious – and we are living in an age where there is much anxiety – whatever we think or do plays out on a background of instability. Our energy is unsettled and our minds are too active, too yang. As a result, events in life and even what people say can pull us this way and that. Our stress responses go up and quality of life goes down. We have forgotten how to be rooted.

The first step in coming back is to find our own centre. Instead of letting our energy go up through the chest and into our head, creating chaos on the way, we bring it to the centre of the body and down into the belly. Just focus. Let the energy build. Focus at the navel or slightly below and slow the breath down. The energy will come home to its centre. It’s a good feeling and is entirely natural.

Relax: keep your head up but let your feet sink

Letting the energy come home to the centre is the first stage. To be rooted well, we also need to let go of everything and relax. Relax your legs and feet, too. Your feet are designed to be in contact with the ground, so let them enjoy that. Let them sink. Really feel the earth through your feet. Thich Nhat Hanh used to say, “kiss the Earth with your feet”. Or we may like to feel as though we are breathing through the soles, drawing in nourishment from the ground beneath us. Once we have learnt to be rooted like this, there is no cause for anxiety. Centred and relaxed, we belong to the Earth and wherever we are, we are at home. Life is so much better like that. And it’s easy.

There is more like this in The Great Little Book of Happiness and my other books, available here.

Related posts:

  1. Qi power – secrets of internal energy for health and stability
  2. Energy circulation: why it is better for health than jogging
  3. Longevity: seven secrets of ageing gracefully
  4. Diet: the Vegans may have landed but don’t lose the feeling

Strength: 3 reasons why balance is better than muscle

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Strength taiji
Strength and balance

Strength is wonderful. When we are strong, whether in body or mind, and preferably both, we feel great and can achieve many good things. Cultivating strength seems very worthwhile. It often results from dedication, application and discipline – from gong fu. A strong character is developed through life’s experiences and, if we are lucky, sound education. Daily, we see the actions of those who have used strength in order to become powerful and perhaps wonder if it is such a good quality after all. In taiji (tai chi), we emphasise balance as the way to become strong. Being powerful should be of no interest whatsoever. Here’s why this is essential, not just in taiji, but to leading a happy life.

Strength lies in the beauty of the play of yin and yang

Life is a continual play of opposites. Once we accept and understand this, we don’t need to cling onto what is good, nor fear the bad. When we cling, we become very yin. When we fight, we become very yang. Both are states of weakness and imbalance that are detrimental to health and wellbeing. They can also cause problems and unhappiness for those around us. No good points there, then. But all we need to do is let go. In taiji, we learn to relax in our movements so that the blood and qi can flow through the body unimpeded. Good upright posture but relaxed and open. Strength is in grace and poise, not power. The principle in life is the same. Balance yin with yang, and yang with yin. No forcing – just play.Strength tree

Head points to Heaven, feet to Earth – don’t forget the feet

There is a very valuable principle in taiji of being rooted. When we begin learning the movements, the placing of the feet in the correct position is drummed into us. Only much later can we understand why this is so important. When we know how to relax the body, including the feet, and to open the joints, which takes a long while to develop, the experience of being rooted comes. It’s a wonderful feeling. There is enormous strength in being connected to the Earth in this way. It is very difficult for others to push or pull us off balance. In modern life we tend to focus in the head and forget the feet. The world is more than a little crazy because we have become very clever but in the process have lost our stability.

The Goldilocks effect

Muscles are better than porridge. Even if you are a porridge fan, you can’t eat porridge without muscles. Some people like to build up their muscle bulk to acquire an impressive physique. Oddly, you don’t see animals going to the gym or lifting weights, but you do see them stretching. Strength isn’t about having big muscles but having a body that is fit for purpose. Too little muscle, and we are weak; too much and we become tight and lose some of our flexibility. Like Goldilocks’s choice of porridge, there is a midpoint that is just right. In taiji, there are moves that involve standing on one leg. Most people wobble a bit at first. Gradually, through doing relaxed movements, strength builds up. A stiff leg isn’t strong, we discover. We learn, too, that a taut abdomen makes us weaker, paradoxical though that may seem. In life, too, there is a midpoint in everything. The Middle Way. Now, that’s strength.

For an exploration of finding the middle way in life, read my book The Art of Not Doing available here.

Related posts:

  1. Diet: the Vegans may have landed but don’t lose the feeling
  2. Rest or be busy? 5 essential tips for restoring balance
  3. Be rooted again: how a simple trick enhances life and wellbeing
  4. Thinking too much? Why it can make you ill