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Perfection: 6 reasons why striving for it can seriously damage your health

July 7, 2017 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

Perfection is okay, isn’t it? If we aim for perfection we are bound to bring about some improvement. That’s the logic and it’s difficult to argue against it. But is striving for it really the best thing to do? Or can it cause more harm than good?

Perfection is illusory – you’d do better looking for a herd of unicorns

perfection herd
You may as well look for a herd of unicorns

What is perfection, anyway? When we look for it, we can’t actually find it. In spite of what many self-styled, self-improvement gurus might tell you, there is no end product that is the perfect you. If you think there is, do please define it and let me know.

When we labour under the illusion that there is such a thing as perfection, we carry a burden of believing that we are less than. Less than what? Less than what we “should be” and that inevitably creates a feeling, no matter how slight, of self-dissatisfaction. Could do better may be an echo from old school reports but we often apply it to ourselves as adults.

So let me be good at something

As a boost to self-esteem, which is of course important, some people pursue an interest and seek perfection in that. Or they want to be the best at work. Many recognisable achievements result from this approach. Striving for the ultimate in a given field, though, doesn’t necessarily create a better human being. In fact, it can make us a pain in the bum so far as other people are concerned. Just ask your friends. Wanting to be perfect can often turn into an ego-trip and we have to be really honest with ourselves to avoid that.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t change

I love to play tai chi. Apart from being very good for mental and physical health, it can be very fulfilling. A key principle to tai chi is balance – neither too much nor too little of anything. If we gently try to improve our practice, we are most likely to enjoy it and will reap great benefit. Trying too hard, though, results in strain and creates tension – too yang. But by doing too little, we become sloppy – too yin. That’s one reason why teachers tell their students that it takes at least thirty years to master the art. There’s no rush.

The same applies, I think, to life in general. Gradual improvement is good and healthy. But if we try to be perfect human beings, we won’t make it and certainly won’t enjoy life. We’ll just rush through everything in our vain attempt to be the best.

How pursuing perfection can seriously harm your health

  1. Striving to be the best, or to be perfect, necessarily results in mental and emotional tension. Instead of our awareness being relaxed and expansive, it focuses on one or a number of points to the exclusion of others.
  2. Maintaining mental and emotional tension builds up hypertension, which is harmful for cardiovascular health.
  3. The flow of qi or vital energy through the body becomes restricted and chaotic. Instead of being settled and free-flowing, it tends to rise into the chest and head.
  4. The internal organs are vital for good health and, according to oriental medicine, are directly affected by the flow of qi. When there is tension, the organs do not get their full supply of qi.
  5. As the blood is influenced by qi, that can be constricted, too, resulting in congestion.
  6. Amongst other things, the digestion is often affected. If the power of the digestion, digestive fire, as it is sometimes called in the oriental systems, is weak, we fail to extract all the nutrients from our food. Toxins are said to build up from the incomplete process, and that affects our vitality and wellbeing.

Be happy instead

On the other hand, being happy is said to be good for health. That sounds a far better option to me. That doesn’t mean we just wander through life but we can, and ought to, reduce the intensity sometimes. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, we are not going somewhere else – we are already here. We have arrived but just don’t realise it.


If you like this, you may also like my books on happiness and mindfulness.

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Filed Under: Happiness, Health Tagged With: body, change, chi, choice, emotions, health, peace, stress, tai chi, wellbeing

Pollution: why the real danger is in our own minds

April 23, 2017 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

Pollution is always high on the agenda, and quite rightly so. The planet as we know it is in great danger. But the source of the pollution isn’t in the physical. It lies in the mind or the collective consciousness of humanity. As a race, we have allowed it to happen. We all know this but so far have failed to generate sufficient willpower to reverse it. The problem of pollution, and its solution, lies in the mind. That’s even closer to home than your own wheelie bin.

Like pollution, there is more to the mind than you think

If we ever try to examine the nature of our mind, we will probably find that there is no single thing we can actually identify as mind. Instead, there is a collection of interacting and interdependent faculties or components.

The mindstream

The most apparent and obvious aspect is the chattering of thoughts that we experience almost incessantly. One thought yields another and it is difficult to say when one thought ends and another begins. A pollution thoughts streambetter description might be that we have streams of thinking and a rather apt term used in some Eastern teachings is mindstream. As we shall see, this is susceptible to pollution.

We don’t change our minds – the mind is constantly changing

Our mindstreams are constantly changing, being influenced by the mindstreams of others. If we are influenced by something we read or hear, it is an effect of the mindstream of the writer or speaker. In turn, he or she will have been influenced. If we look deeply enough, we will find that there is no beginning and no end to these thought processes. At every stage, too, there is the possibility of pollution.

Choice and responsibility

Just as a stream of water collects minerals, debris and pollutants on its journey, our mindstreams also pick up thoughts, ideas and beliefs as we go through life. Unlike water, we have some choice in what we expose ourselves to, and how much.

The amount of information that is available these days is frightening. We need to be choosy and, the less rubbish in our minds, the better we will feel about ourselves and others. We will be less likely to pollute the mindstreams of others with our own detritus and, who knows, may even inspire with our positivity!


Adapted extract from the book The Art of Not Doing

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Filed Under: The Art of Not Doing Tagged With: cause and effect, change, choice, consciousness, happiness, humanity, mind, mindfulness, pollution, positive thought

Blamelessness – part of letting go

January 15, 2016 by Andrew Marshall 1 Comment

Blamelessness is freedom

Blamelessness is a state of a mind that is free; and in an unshackled mind, there is no room for grudge or blame.

To be free, we must understand very clearly that holding onto a grudge or resentment in no way harms the person we blame for some wrongdoing. We may think we are fully justified and in some slightly warped and unseen way believe that we are meting out justice. But in reality, we’re not. Okay, it may make things difficult or a little unpleasant but that is all. On the other hand, it can cause us great damage in terms of happiness and well-being. It most definitely reduces our capacity to love others and to be a useful member of society.Blamelessness

Is there any reason why should we not let go? The short answer is “no”. There might be a million and one reasons why a finger can be pointed at someone who has done dreadful things, but blamelessness is not the same as condoning wrong actions. We are not in the business of saying a terrible deed or omission is acceptable.

The essence of blamelessness is to release ourselves and free our own energy by seeing the truth that underlies the appearance. We need to see the deeper picture. Our resentment arises from false perception – we build up a picture of presumptions and judgments. We need to change our perception, and if we do the resentment dissolves.

A simple technique for letting go of blame

There are many ways of changing our perception – for example by analysing all the causes and conditions that gave rise to the action we resent, by taking into account the incredibly complex law of karma or cause and effect. But we don’t normally have the time to do this, or the inclination. Although for very deep issues some sort of analysis may be helpful, there is a simpler method that is both very practical and easy to use. It is this:

  • See the other person as a child.

It really is that simple. If we see the other person as a child (and ourselves, for that matter), we will see that it is possible, inevitable even, for Blamelessness childthat person to make mistakes and even do serious wrongs. But a child is not judged or condemned for ever and eventually grows up and out of his or her bad habits. Each one of us is a child in spiritual terms. We are all thoroughly immature. So we need to understand when seeing the other person as a child that we are a child also and from time to time we, too, make mistakes. At first sight, this technique may seem naïve – but it is incredibly effective and, in terms of releasing our energy, can be extremely profound.

More on this in The Great Little Book of Happiness. This article is an adaptation of an extract from Chapter 2.

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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: blame, cause and effect, choice, happiness, health, inner peace, mind, view

It really is a matter of choice

October 31, 2015 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

ChoiceIf you wish to be happier than you are now, you must have the will to do something about it. The choice really is yours. It just has to be the right choice.

The problem with seeking happiness for ourselves alone is that it is likely to give rise to a certain degree of selfishness. Then our thoughts become focused on ourselves. We try to create a bubble around us that keeps unhappiness factors away and, perhaps unwittingly, we become very insular. This may work for a short time but eventually a deep sense of dissatisfaction will start nagging at us from inside.

If we want to be truly happy and content, we have to be less concerned with “me”. In fact, the more we are concerned with others’ welfare and their happiness, the happier we will become. In other words, we do the opposite of what the ego is pushing us to do or avoid doing. It’s a universal law and it works. When we take the focus away from ourselves, we take the focus off the things in life which we blame for … well, blame for anything, really.

If you have any doubts as to whether it is right or responsible to be happier, let’s start with the thought that a happier human being is a better human being. Remember that moods are infectious and happy people tend to uplift others. Some people have the gift of being able to see the energy fields around people and they will tell you that a generous, outward looking person has vibrant, outgoing energy. But you don’t have to see that to know it. You can sense it. You know what it is like to be in the company of a warm-hearted person.

Vibrate happiness!

A friend sent us a quote from the late great Maharishi Mahesh Yogi: “I see only one ‘do’ in life and that is: vibrate happiness. Increase the happiness within yourself and within your surroundings because the sole purpose of creation is the increase of happiness…”

Whether it is a throwback from more austere times that has conditioned them I don’t know but many people seem to have a distinct reservation about being happy. It is almost as though they think that happiness is wrong and that they are not meeting their responsibility as human beings unless they feel and look glum. Many children, unfortunately, are brought up in families which are not happy and innocent joyfulness is very quickly lost.

We have a responsibility to ourselves and others to be happy. Inside, we have a “happiness switch”. We just have to find it and choose to use it. Sometimes it is simply a question of choosing to throw that switch, even when everything around us seems to be falling apart. There is work to do, of course, but for now we just have to decide which direction we want to go in – towards happiness or away from it.

Adapted from The Great Little Book of Happiness

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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: altruism, blame, choice, ego, egolessness, happiness, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, vibrate happiness

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