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Criticism: 3 reasons it’s bad for your wellbeing

November 5, 2016 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

Criticism, as everyone knows, can hurt. No-one likes to be criticised. But even so, we tend to be experts at judgingCriticism judgment what is good or bad in someone else. Often, we will be too well-mannered to say anything and remain silent. Nevertheless, our minds form a judgment. It’s a habit that goes back to childhood. And, as energy follows thought, it’s bad for us and our sense of wellbeing.

Criticism – the antithesis of happiness

Being judgmental, even silently, is the antithesis of happiness. When we are on the receiving end of criticism, the ego is easily bruised. Perhaps we feel a little indignant or defensive. Probably, we have a sense of being deflated. The wind is taken out of our sails. Our self-esteem takes a knock. Most of us have experienced this many times in our lives.

But giving criticism can be just as damaging for ourselves, too. Here’s why.

1. It destroys our inner peace. A peaceful mind doesn’t judge. Those times we feel good occur because our innate wholeness is alive. When we are truly at peace, the mind is whole. There is no division. But when we judge that this is better than that, that this is good and that is bad, we have lost our equanimity.

2. This sets in motion a chain of events. Anyone or anything that supports what we judge to be right generates a positive response in us. Conversely, a negative reaction arises towards those who are against our belief of what is right and good.

3. When we see what we like, it makes us feel better. Our dislikes, on the other hand, make us feel worse. With the former, we are more relaxed and the latter generate tension. Moods and sense of wellness fluctuate. This is normal human behaviour, so we may think there is nothing we can do about it. But the cause isn’t “out there”, it is in the mind. That means we have choice.

Cultivate a mind that is at ease to enliven your wellbeing

A mind that is at ease naturally accepts others and circumstances as they are. That doesn’t mean we are free of responsibility to act, but we can do so without a sense of blame. The world is full of rhetoric about what is right and wrong. It comes from people who think their view is the only correct one. That means they haven’t been really listening to the other. It also means they have closed their minds. When our minds are closed, we are not free. We become our own prisoner. That is no way to be and is an unhappy state.
So relax and be aware. Let the mind be at ease. When criticism raises its head, chop it off. Gradually, life becomes more pleasant. We feel better. Our sense of wellbeing improves and we begin to restore wholeness. We don’t need to fight the world anymore. A measure of peace and joy can live in our hearts. And that’s just what the world needs.

More on easier living in Awakening Heart: The Blissful Path to Self Realisation

Good article by Oliver Burkeman “Is moaning good for you?” in today’s Guardian

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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: blame, cause and effect, happiness, health, mind, mindfulness, thinking, well-being, zen

Stillness: why it is vital for your health

October 12, 2016 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

Stillness is with us all the time. It is not a product of meditation or Stillness Tibetanything else. We may practise meditation, yoga, or taiji, or lose ourselves in art, music or gardening. If we are lucky, we may experience some stillness. But these disciplines and pursuits are not responsible for that – they simply lead us back to our natural quietness. The quietness never leaves us. We just choose not to remain with it.

Stillness for health and wellbeing

Activity can be addictive. It is so much easier to distract ourselves by being constantly busy than to be still. When we are still, we have to face ourselves. That can be uncomfortable so we have become very adept at avoidance. If we can’t find something to do, we look for entertainment of some sort. Even the small pleasure of a cup of tea or coffee with a friend seems to require an examination of smartphones these days.

This can cause problems for our sense of wellbeing because the mind never rests. Some agitation is always there and the body constantly responds to our fluctuations in mood. Breathing, heart rate and blood pressure alter as our thoughts and emotions vacillate.

Unnecessarily, we wear ourselves out. Sleep patterns are less natural and fail to refresh us fully. Many modern diseases result from stress but we still keep piling it on. If this sounds a little bit grim, it is. But we can reverse the process.

Stillness is more than doing nothing – it’s an art

If we try to sit and do nothing, the mind will wander. From sheer habit, the mind grasps at some things and rejects others. The winds – the subtle energies of the body – reflect the chaotic patterns of thought. Emotions and feelings rise and fall. If we’re tired, we may drift off into sleep. Stillness, however, eludes us. Either the mind is too busy or it descends into fog.

Teachings abound on methods of training an erratic mind to come to a state of clarity and stillness. The modern way seems to be to keep going from one set of teaching or guidance to another. This is no good. Acquiring a skill takes time. It requires patience. The mind needs plain food, not an elaborate buffet that we keep picking at until we have too much.

Stick to one path

Find a way that suits you and stick to it. And keep on sticking to it. Don’t veer off course. We may be tempted to try something else. Someone may offer this teaching or that. When that happens, look at the mind that is thinking that way and don’t move. Gradually you will learn the art and become fully acquainted with your own innate stillness. And you will know that happiness and wellbeing are present here and now.

More on finding the path to stillness can be found in The Art of Not Doing

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Filed Under: Meditation, The Art of Not Doing Tagged With: happiness, health, inner peace, meditation, mind, mindfulness, tranquillity

Mindful living isn’t easy but it’s worth it

October 1, 2016 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

Mindful living is not easy. It means overcoming the tendency that we all have to be partly absent from whatever we are doing.

But if we want to be really happy, we have to love and, in order to love, we have to be fully present.

Actually, although it is not easy to be mindful, it is the simplest thing in the world. Instead of doing more, we have to do less.

Most things in life require us to act. In order to achieve anything, it seems we have to do more. Then we become hooked in the spiral of doing more and more. Or we become disheartened or feel guilty because we haven’t achieved what we think we should have.

mindful living stimuliA mad world makes loving more difficult

Our modern world does not particularly support mindfulness, either. Despite technology that enables almost anything that we could wish for to be achieved or obtained, our modern lifestyle detracts from an environment that encourages mindfulness. Stimuli – advertising, radio, television, mobile telephones, e-mails, the internet and so on – bombard us at every turn. The modern mind generally works too fast because it races from one thing to another without paying a great deal of attention to almost anything. One major effect of this is that we are not generally very good at expressing love.

Mindful living means being

Fortunately, there is a middle way. Mindful living is not so much about doing things as about being. We simply have to be in order to be a full human being. Being busy can be very good, of course. Through our various occupations, we learn skills and serve our fellow human beings. This is all good. But most people are so active in their minds that they find it very difficult to be still. Even when we have the chance to sit and do nothing for a while, the majority of folk will look for something to do.

But we can (not) do itmindful living happy

All is not lost, however. No matter how busy we are or think we are, it is possible to become more mindful. It doesn’t matter whether a person has an IQ of 70 or 150. Everyone can enjoy greater awareness – and so greater fulfilment – in life. In fact, sometimes people with very active intellects find mindful living more difficult at first because their minds are always arguing, forever differentiating between this and that, and making judgements. But, like monetary wealth, more of something does not always bring greater happiness and an overactive intellect is a case in point. Nevertheless, once the purity of natural awareness is experienced, the joy – and relief – is equally great for everyone. And the loving is easy.

From the book Awakening Heart 

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Qi: the elixir of youth?

August 19, 2016 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

There have always been tales and legends of an elixir that brings everlasting youthfulness. These are matched by qi rejuvenation chistories of the fruitless attempts to find it. Even today, consumers spend vast sums on countless products in the hope that using them will make them as fresh and young as a new daisy in the morning dew. But daisies, you may have noticed, don’t stay fresh and young for very long. Perhaps some creams and serums do give a temporary lift of some sort or the other. Or maybe it is just seductive marketing.

Rather than searching for the latest exotic substances to eat or drink or rub in our skin, maybe we already have what we need: qi (chi). This is our natural energy and it is influenced hugely by the mind.

Qi is strengthened or weakened by our thoughts

How the mind affects the body and our sense of well-being is quite extraordinary. A mind that is aggressive, for example, will cause the body to wear out more quickly than one that is calm. If we are in a negative state – worrying or fearful perhaps – notice how our sense of well-being takes a nosedive. Our thoughts have a very definite affect on the body’s responses.

The mind and its reactions to everyday life are the cause of most of our troubles. However they play out, stress and tension arise in the mind. Like a spiral, negative thinking always produces more negative thoughts. So any product we buy off the shelf is unlikely to provide the cure. If we want to improve our sense of wellbeing, we must look after the mind.

Is qi the elixir?

When our qi is strong and balanced, we have vitality. But what can we make of tales of an elixir? If the mind is the cause of producing many of the body’s ageing compounds, it must also be capable of maintaining, or at least prolonging, a more youthful state.

The Chinese regard qi, the vital energy of the body, as an elixir. They talk of a centre in the abdomen just below the navel, the lower dan tian, as being the ocean of elixir. Qi can build up very strongly in the dan tian. There are hundreds if not thousands of specific exercises (qigong, sometimes written chi kung) that can help to increase qi. This energy can then flow through the body and the internal organs, revitalising them.

Apart from the physical movements and breathing, the mind is also very important in this process. An exercise carried out with full awareness can increase the flow of qi enormously. The same exercise done inattentively or carelessly will have far less of an effect.

Rejuvenation: being younger for longer

People with strong, well-balanced qi tend to maintain strength, vitality and mobility for much longer than those whose qi is poor. Mind, body and breath can together build up our energy and improve the quality of life. This increase of energy and quality of life is sometimes attributed to a substance or elixir that is produced within the body. At a physical or clinical level, this substance may simply be the product of enzymes, hormones and biochemicals secreted by various glands. Whatever it is, how we think seems to hold the key to staying younger for longer.

Read much more on this in Awakening Heart: The Blissful Path to Self-Realisation

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Filed Under: Awakening Heart, Health Tagged With: chi, chi kung, elixir, health, mind, qi, qigong, vitality, well-being, wellbeing, youth, youthfulness

Insight: 3 reasons you need this mind-power

July 25, 2016 by Andrew Marshall Leave a Comment

Insight is mind-power. It can’t bend spoons or produce helicopters out of thin air. No, insight isn’t a conjuring trick. Rather, it sees the through deception of the conjurer. There can be fun in being deceived, of course. Magicians can produce good entertainment. But we are in the habit of seeing the appearances of everyday life as something that they’re not. That can cause a huge amount of misery for all of us.

Insight penetrates the trickery of the mind

The mind is amazing. It is a magician that assembles unconnected components into images. For example, a mass of pixels may be just billions of tiny dots. Put them together and the mind sees them as a picture. Similarly, programmes are broadcast across the world and appear to the mind as images on television screens.insight tv picture

If the mind didn’t work in this way, it would not be possible to communicate using images. If all we saw in an artist’s painting were various coloured pigments, the work would be meaningless. And yet there is something of a deception going on because the mind is making out something that isn’t really there. Up to a point, we manage. We’re okay because we know that the weather man is not really inside the television. The photo of a mountain is not the mountain. But if we accidentally break a favourite ornament, we feel upset. But is anything really lost? The pieces are still there, so what’s gone?

Insight lets us know we’re okay

Making appearances seem real is a trick that the mind applies to almost everything. The downside is that we want things to be just right and are not so happy when they’re not. We become attached to things, circumstances and people. We’re happy when they are with us but often fear losing them. Anything we don’t like is unpleasant.

insight owlsWhat if we could see things differently? The environment we see now is an ever-changing collection of images. Moreover, we all have different cultural backgrounds, beliefs, education and emotional baggage. So every human being sees a different world. No wonder there are problems!

Insight helps us to see things for what they really are. Then our emotions don’t swamp us. So if we can look beyond the apparent, our problems become less pressing and gradually disappear. Just as a mirage disappears as we approach it, our worries dissolve as our insight grows.

No-one can do that for us but as it is the mind that is the cause of all the complexity and error, we can use it to heal itself. As that progresses, the mind relaxes. We feel happier and at greater ease with our world, no matter how crazy it may seem.

Insight wakes us up from our dream-state

When we are dreaming, everything in the dream seems real. It may all be rather bizarre but it seems real while we are in it. But when we wake up, we know the dream was no more solid than a phantom or a mirage and usually we forget it quite quickly, if indeed we remember it at all. In insight dreamingthe dream, the imagery is as real to us as when we are awake.

It is only when greater awareness comes to us as we wake up that we can dispel it as unreal. In the dreaming state there is awareness but not as great as when we are awake. Similarly, when we are awake there is awareness but not as great as in the enlightened state.

A first step: see the world as a play of energy

Our world seems very solid and real but science tells us it isn’t. Everything that looks and feels solid is made up of countless particles – atoms and molecules and the minute particles that make them up – and, just as importantly, the space between the particles. The physicist would tell us that the space between the particles is enormous – far greater than the “mass” of the particles themselves. The particles are whizzing round at enormous speed in a vast amount of space and this gives the appearance of solid matter. This means that when we look at or feel something solid, we perceive something that is not solid at all. It’s an illusion.

Unless we have exceptionally sensitive and subtle vision, it is impossible for our eyes and mind to see solid things as mainly consisting of space. However, it is not such a great stretch of the mind to think of everything in terms of energy. In fact, even all the particles are simply energy taking form, so whether something appears solid to us or not depends on how densely the energy manifests.

Understanding is part of insight

Insight begins with understanding. So we can begin to understand that the whole world is a play of energy that is an amalgam of billions upon billions of energy systems. Just like the solar system itself, you and I are each an energy system, as is a tree, a bird, an ant and so on. All these patterns of energy are composed of billions of smaller ones. We can think of the organs in our bodies, and indeed every cell, as interdependent composite forms of energy.

Every family, community, anthill, shoal of fish, every nation is a complex system or organism composed of energy. That means that everything is energy and is moving and vital. Nothing is dead because energy is dynamic. It’s extraordinary if we take the trouble to think about it.

If we can begin to see everything in life as energy, we start to break down the concepts embedded in the mind that convince us that everything is solid and real. Instead of solidity, see everything as fluid and vital. Gradually your perception will change and your mind will become freer. It really is amazing –but you have to discover that for yourself.

From Chapter 6 –Deeper insight equals greater happiness in The Great Little Book of Happiness

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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: energy, happiness, health, meditation, mind, well-being, zen

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